Positive and Negative - Dr. Dick

Positive and Negative

Dear Dr. Dick,

I am feeling depressed. I have been looking for a long time for someone I could have a serious relationship with. I think that I have finally found him. He's tall, good looking and has a good sense of humor. Everything I am looking for. I am worried though because I am pretty sure that he is HIV negative and I am positive. I am afraid to tell him because I think he may turn me down. Even if he is OK with it, can we even have a healthy relationship? Since I was diagnosed, I have only been with positive guys. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Afraid To Tell.

Dear AT&T;,

Number one, congratulations on finding someone who makes you happy. I understand why you may have anxiety about telling him that you are HIV positive. The first thing you need to do is educate yourself about sex between a man who is positive and who isn't. You can have a very healthy sex life in a mixed status relationship, it just means you have to do things differently. Your most important tool will be condoms. They provide protection against your partner becoming infected. Here is a website full of great information on safe sex practices:

http://aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/hiv-aids-101/overview/prevention/index.html#safer-sex

Keep in mind that you can transmit HIV by having unprotected oral sex. If you want to lower your risk, wear a condom when giving or receiving a blow job. Condoms are not fail safe, however, and can sometimes break. If you ever have this happen and you think you might have been exposed to HIV, talk to your doctor about PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis.) You can also go to your local emergency room. This is a short term antiretroviral treatment that can reduce the likelihood of getting infected by HIV after potential exposure.

The other important step you can take is make sure that you stay healthy. Meet with your doctor regularly and take your medications. That will keep your viral load down and will decrease your chance of spreading the disease to your partner.

Being informed is important when you go to have the talk with your partner about your status. Remember that you cannot control his reaction when you tell him but if he is comfortable moving forward, an open and honest conversation between you and him is paramount. Good luck.

Dr. Dick

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