Too Shy To Show My Hard Drive

Dear Dr. Dick,

I'm a 25 year old tech-savvy guy - I'm cool at work, great to be with - the girls just adore me. I like guys and prefer guys - but none of my family or friends know.

I've been messing around with guys for months now. I guess you'd call me straight-curious. I'm not gay - I top only. Occasionally I'll suck a nice small cock or rim a nice bubble butt. I haven't been using condoms since I'm not gonna get the guys pregnant, right!?

I'm too shy to go in to my doctor's to get checked and stuff though. The thought really freaks me out. So, I'm checking in with you. I haven't really heard much about any gay scares. What should I be worried about?

Sincerely,

Dear IT Guy,

I'm not one for labels myself - whether you're straight, gay, bisexual, straight-curious, etc - you like who you like - and that's that! However, if you are going to express your sexual interest in someone, SEXUAL SAFETY is the one thing I am sure to remind guys about. Guys who have sex with guys are at considerably greater risk for sexually transmitted bugs than guys who only play with girls. Take syphilis for example: men who have sex with men accounted for 91% of all new King County syphilis cases in 2010.

Gettin' it on with a guy or an occasional gal - you MUST get tested regularly. Whether it's oral, anal, or vaginal sex - STD risks are there. Get tested every 3 months for the following: HIV, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea AND Hepatitis. It's especially important to get tested if you have multiple partners.

HIV, or any sexual "bugs" for that matter DO NOT discriminate. Just because you may not identify as gay does not mean you're immune to getting HIV. But, some people do think that and word does get around as fast as syphilis or gonorrhea spreads around!

Start having conversations around your sexual safety guidelines as much as you talk about acting out your fantasies. And, tell your partners when you were last tested and your results, even if they were all negative. Saying "I was HIV negative as of last month" will help your partner disclose to you whether he/she has been tested and when the last test was. Also, it sounds odd to some people, but you might be surprised at how many folks are actually comfortable wearing condoms for sex, even blowjobs and such. There are tons of different condoms out there---from ultra thin, to flavored, to ribbed and studded. Using lots of lube is important too, especially when having anal sex. It's important to know that you have a right to talk to your partners about sexual safety!

Testing and resources

Online resources are definitely out there - but doctors and specialists are trained with years of education and practice to know what an STD looks, feels and smells like - so I encourage you to go in. There are a lot of weird and fake online resources out there - as much as there are online chat spammers.

If you want to read up on STDs, I recommend you visit the Public Health - Seattle & King County website: STD Info

It's important to remember that the # 1 symptom of an STD is NO SYMPTOM. Many people walk around for a long time without knowing they have a sexual bug. That's why testing is so important. Getting tested should be a standard part of your healthcare, and you should never feel afraid or ashamed to get tested. If it does feel uncomfortable to go to your regular doctor-- there are other options locally, where you'll feel supported and comfortable. You can schedule an appointment at the following:

• Health Night - Tuesdays from 4-6 p.m. @ Seattle Counseling Service. Get free testing for HIV, syphilis, hepatitis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. Call (206) 323-1768 for an appointment. 1216 Pine Street, 3rd Floor.
• Gay City Wellness Center - Free testing for HIV and STDs. 517 E. Pike Street (206) 860-6969.
• Harborview STD Clinic - 325 9th Ave - (206) 744-3590.
• Or if you go to bathhouses and sex clubs, most of these locations offer free, confidential and anonymous testing.

For now - always wear clean underwear and buckle up - take care of yourself!

Dr. Dick

Reposted & updated 12/6/12