Ass Backwards
Dear Dr. Dick,
The other day I sat down to go #2, and felt something nasty on the toilet seat. Naturally, I got a little freaked out and scrubbed my ass with antibacterial soap. Dr. D, could I have caught an oozy STI from one of my roommates? WTF?
Mr. Clean
Dear Mr. Clean,
Getting an STI from a toilet seat is VERY UNLIKELY, because STI bugs don't live long outside the toasty human body. You would have to try very hard to make this happen, and even then, your risk would still be small.
To get an STI from a toilet seat, you'd have to:
+ Put your dick directly onto the toilet seat immediately after someone gets up, in the exact location where they left a puddle of genital fluid or blood. Does this sound like something you'd do?
+ Sit down on a toilet immediately after a person leaves a sufficient quantity of blood on the toilet seat, and you have a cut or sore that you aim right onto the blood. HIV dies when it comes in contact with air--living at most for about 30 seconds outside the body.
HERPES:
Herpes is spread through direct skin-to-skin contact. Although herpes blisters can appear on the butt or thigh, the virus dies quickly when it's out of the body. Thus, it would be difficult to get from a toilet seat.
PUBIC LICE "CRABS":
While it is technically possible, it is very difficult to catch public lice/crabs from a toilet seat. These bugs don't live long away from a warm body, and they are unable to attach themselves to the slippery, non-porous surface of a toilet.
SYPHILIS:
Syphilis is spread through direct skin-to-skin contact, and cannot be spread though toilet seats.
CHLAMYDIA AND GONORRHEA:
Bacterial STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea do not live long outside of the warm mucous membranes of the vagina, penis, anus, and mouth.
*There is one exception to this list: trichomoniasis, an infection caused by a protozoan parasite, can live outside the body up to a couple of hours. Trich spreads most often through vaginal sex, (vagina-to-penis or vagina-to-vagina), and infects the vagina most frequently. It is not very common among men who only have sex with men, and is not found very often in the anus. Trich has been known to survive on wet towels and bathing suits, especially in women. It is possible that trich could survive for a short time on the toilet seat. That said, even trich is probably almost never spread from toilet seats. For more info on trich: Critters In My Culo
KEEP IT CLEAN
It wouldn't hurt to do a deep clean of your shared spaces every once in a while.
+ Clean all bathroom surfaces using an all-purpose cleaner.
+ Use your own hand and body towels, and wash them regularly.
+ Blood can spurt with injecting! If you or your roommates use in the bathroom, clean up after yourselves. Hepatitis C can live 16 hours to 4 days on surfaces, and Hepatitis B can survive outside the body for up to 7 days.
Now please, relax and take a seat!
Dr. Dick